What you mean to me

Can the inexpressible be ever expressed? Can we form words that truly depict what we honestly feel within our heart?

I have tried but no matter the language Or the words, I have failed to highlight what I truly feel.

It’s not because you are an enigma, but the subtle bond that we share is.

You…When I remember your name, it reminds me of the purity and innocence of a child.

You…When I remember your voice, it ignites a positive vibe  which reverberates “Everything is possible” deep within the confines of my heart.

You…When I remember your presence, I remember the constant pull, to be with you, to be near you, to know that you are there.

You…When I need inspiration, I remember your journey, your sacrifices, your struggles and your achievements. I feel a sense of pride and immense joy for you are a conqueror of Positive over Negative.

I don’t know what you mean to me.

But what I do know, is that you are an inspiration for the achievers, beacon of hope for the failures and a balm of compassion for the weak.

You… are my hero, my pride, my aim and my guide.

 

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Alleviating Pain

I have no shame in admitting that I am depressed. I am in pain and need help. I have even pondered over killing myself for an easy fix to my problems. But reality is, that taking away my life would only exacerbate my suffering.

The only remedy that I have found to my pain is to help and guide people out of their problems. When people approach me with their problems, I never turn them away. I try to help them to the best of my ability or connect them to someone who can help them out but I never flat out refuse them. I have been in tight spots in the past and sometimes I have had people show me the way, but most of the times I have figured it out myself. It’s only fair that I use my knowledge pool from my experience to help people who reach out to me.

I personally find it very enriching and equally satisfying  to assist people in their hour of need. Helping others is a two way street. When we help others, we  get healed from within. The negativity disappears and the inner light of peace and happiness shines through. The satisfaction of putting someone at ease mentally and physically is unparalleled! I feel very happy when I see them walk away with a smile on their lips.

Everyone should have a mentor in life who can be the guide in darkest of times and hour of need. I have been lucky to have few who in their best interests for me, continue to guide in  both matters of spiritual and worldly affairs.

The next time someone comes to you for help, first hear them out. Be patient with their query and if possible, then offer them your assistance. Who knows, your help may act as the biggest influence on someone’s life. Or you may end up saving someone from committing suicide. Either way, you will win.

 

 

 

For her

Once I caught sight of you, it was only you.. my heart wanted to stare, but my eyes were too shy
Now as I write this, I remember the song Can’t take my eyes off you by Frankie Valli. The lyrics echo my feelings perfectly.. 

You’re just too good to be true, can’t keep my eyes off you.. 

You’d feel like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much.. 

At long last love has arrived and I thank God I’m alive.. 

You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you.. 

Pardon the way that I stare, there’s nothing else to compare,  the sight of you makes me weak.. 

There are no words left to speak, but if you feel like how I feel, please let me know that it’s real… 

You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you.. 

When you caught my eye, you smiled.. There was grace and beauty in that smile.. 

I don’t want to write further because I fear I may limit that experience in words. It was inexpressible and wonderful. You are very beautiful! 

Chand sa roshan chehra, zulfon ka rang sunehra, yeh jheel si neeli aankhen, koi raaz hain inme gehra..Tareef karun kya uski jisne tumhe banaya! 

Favoritism

 

Favoritism kills talent in an organization period

When the the man at the reins favors someone  too much, its a disaster in making.

I am not saying its a bad thing, but giving equal opportunity to the employees on learning about the business, grooming, helping them polish their skills is what matters

And when that doesn’t  happen, well it kills talent, enthusiasm and joy of working in an organization.

People at the helm should know, what they are doing is wrong.They are running a company not a family! They should learn to know where to stop and draw a line. Employees can see, mind you and once they decide to leave, the company will loose a bright talent, not mentioning the money went in training him or her.

The last time i decided to air my feelings on MY blog, i was told i cant and on top of that my post was copied and stored on on email to show me my mistake.

Well, this time i don’t care.

And please do forgive my poor writing, if you happen to be reading this sad post. I am still learning to pen down my feelings in perfect english.

 

Looking Forward

What i loved about 2015,that i got to try new things and meet new people.

Another year has gone by. Do i regret the passed year? No. Could i have done things differently? Perhaps.

2015 was a year when i received a lot of fair advises from all round. My peers, seniors, know-ers, and back-bitters, had some opinion to shower on me on how to get work done. Some made sense, some were weird, rest were trash.

What i loved about 2015, was i got a lot of opportunities to learn something new and try different things. It was exciting, nerve racking but fun nonetheless. Communication (work) can be harrowing sometimes and may lead to quick burn out but the adrenaline rush is unbeatable!

My New year resolution?

To best myself and not get lost in fallacies

 

 

Sweet & Sour

It’s been long again, since my last post but I have a good news to share with you. I got placed via campus recruitment in Asia’s largest PR firm, called Adfactors PR. They are well known in the world of financial communication and are the biggest in the fraternity! To say I am happy would be an understatement because I am over the moon! 😀 And the best part, I get to work under, my professional role model, Mr. Samir Kapur, who is the Senior Vice President of the company and also an adjunct faculty at IIMC.

Life at IIMC is coming to a close with only 2 weeks remaining for the end of this course. To be brutally honest, I will not miss this place. At least not for the obvious reasons. This place has an over hyped reputation in the market. And it’s not misplaced, mind you. The hype, comes entirely from the full time and adjunct professors, who are some of the best minds in the country. The students on the other hand including the sod writing this piece are just sad ending of a miserable love story. The students are brilliant, talented but utterly dysfunctional when it comes to synchronicity or cohesive working to get a job done. There is a basic lack of discipline which resembles the culture of this city. Being dynamic doesn’t mean one has to be abusive or insensitive to others, but it is worn proudly as a batch to gel in this culture. Individuals expect too much from others than focusing on their own, actions and behaviors leading to dysfunctionality within working groups. It’s sad to imagine, the condition of their future married life if these traits were to continue. People are judged on their academic scores by their peers than their intellectual capability which in turn leads to alienation and formation of closed groups of friends which is a sad reality.

Is IIMC a place to be? Yes. Will it help my career? Definitely, Yes. Will I make lasting friendships over here? Probably not.  What’s the best part about IIMC? Teachers, Teachers, Teachers.

Acrimony

What did i ever do, to deserve such acrimony, o fate!

Do i really belong here? Will i ever make it? When will i be victorious over my demons? The battle within rages on unabated. I have no answers and the demons from the past continue to hound me. I feel like a hypocrite sometimes, because i cannot seem to take my own advice. I feel left out, and out of place on this ambitious podium, where hunger for self gratification is promoted as the key to success. I have no one to confide my fears in, no one to clap my back and console me. Right now i crave for the physical presence of that individual who could see me in my vulnerable state and listen to me.

Some days i wish, i should die but my rational mind negates my emotions by reminding me of my Guru’s words “Suicide is the opposite of evolution” O, Guru! I want to walk on your path, i want to be a beacon of hope, peace and right action to all, but i am unable to do so! Is this part of who i am in this birth or is this my destiny? If its my destiny then when will this tunnel of darkness end? Its been 28 years and i don’t believe i can keep up any longer!

I don’t know what is my passion, or what my career should be. It seems the things that i am good at have no real value in the “real life”. The ethics, values, beliefs that i hold dear aren’t the money making tools! But i am nothing without them! Strip me out of those and i cease to exist. i am a man out of my time and depth. Maybe the 60’s and the 70’s would have been proper for me.

I wait o fate for ye to lift thy axe from my over burdened shoulder and set me free!

Ongoing Crisis

Its been long since my last post and i figured its about time, i shared some of my experiences since my arrival in Delhi.

Well for starters, my life has been a hot tangy gooey mess, since August. Emotional roller coaster rides one after the other has been suffocating to say the least. My spiritual practice has suffered due too in-decisions in my head (quite a few). I thought, studying in a country level institute would help me increase not only my intellectual ability but also allow me to contribute to the knowledge and experience pool  through discussions and debates. But its been disappointing so far. The students (major chunk from Delhi and Neighboring areas) have this schoolish attitude of of not sharing what they have read or even if they have, its hidden away, so that it will get them good grades?!

I mean, seriously?! Today’s world where we have access to information much more easily than public toilets in Delhi, mere reading up is not going to help increase your intellect capability in any way. You will just be left with large chunks of biased information of someone’s else mind roaming around in your head making you no more than a parrot. The only way one can gain intellect maturity, when one discusses the latest issues,  media theories, management  and marketing models, PR techniques with peers and the teachers. Then you not only add to your intellect a clear understanding of what you have read but also help in contributing to the knowledge pool.

The only good thing, that i have found studying here are some of lecturers who go beyond than just merely teaching us. They inspire and encourage despite your shortcomings and are willing to walk beside you to help you set you on your path to your desired goal. Such teachers are rare breed of intellectuals, who are difficult to come by in today’s world of materialism. I am happy to mention that Naren Singh, Amit Sengupta, Ramesh Tahiliani of IIMC are some of the finest teachers, that i have come across in my student life.

Right now we have end of semester exams going on and i ended up screwing up the very subject in which ii want to make a career in..Public Relations/Corporate Communication. If i just get passing grades, that would be good enough, that much how badly i screwed up the paper.. :/

Placement week will be held from 16th to 28th February. I hope i am able to bag a good paying job for my immediate survival, because money, food, and clothes are not given in charity and the ones that are given away, are too crap to be of any significant use.

Anyways i am babbling now; Until next post!

 

A Conversational Meeting

During our daily travels we come across many people but some leave their marks on us which changes our perception towards our life. It was one such day, today.

On my way way back home, i happened to board a wrong train which usually, doesn’t happen with me. And i came to know about it when i reached a station called Diara. 

I got down, and went and sat down on a bench intending to wait for the train for my journey back. There happened to sit an old man, who enquired about me and asked about my predicament. I told him about the train and he smiled and he said that it happens to the best of men, so don’t beat yourself with it. 

And we got talking.

The more we talked the more i became engrossed in his conversation. He shared his experiences with me and even i shared my feelings about some of the issues that had been troubling me recently, and the advices that he gave me made me feel so light within. Talking with him, and i felt as if i have known him forever. The stress of the whole week had just seeped out of me, by just talking and smiling with him.  

By the time, my train arrived, i was not ready to leave as i wanted to spend some more time with him. He confessed to me that its been ages since he enjoyed a conversation as much as he did today. Saying that, he wished me farewell and saw to that, i boarded the train. 

I had tears in my eyes for i knew in my heart that i will miss meeting him and having this delightful conversation again. He, with his simplicity has made a place in my heart where i shall cherish this Conversational Meeting forever.   

My Experience

Living life believing that there’s going to be better Tomorrow doesn’t  work when there’s darkness everywhere you look and the people you counted on left you to rot.

I believed my life was great until I was shown the other scarier half, my ears didn’t want to believe what was being told to me, but self denial only gets you near to the edge and that’s exactly what happened.
“Life knocks you down you get back up” I wanted to believe this line but somehow didn’t have the strength to. Family was falling, relationships were souring and the very essence that meant to bind together our life, love was fading away like the winter sun eager to escape the cold clasp of the dark night.
I had no idea where my life was heading or wether I would be able to survive each day of the torture.
I still remember the day, when I heard from my dad that there’s a possibility of us having to give up our house as it will  taken over by the bank. My Dad wanted to hear something optimistic from me but I was too numb to say anything.

Days seemed like years and I wanted to end my life to save my parents atleast my father from having one more mouth to feed. Being all grown up and not being able to work or provide for the people you care about is the most distressing and depressing thought for a man.

Days went by living in dread, when one evening I saw my parents smiling for the first time in months. The bank had agreed to an agreement proposed by my dad. I felt happy seeing them so relieved and stress free.
Now paying that agreement money was a hurdle; how do we do that? My mother had no jewelry left to sell and there were no assets left either. Then my aunt stepped in and she helped us pay all that amount. She is our guardian angel, without whom even this epistle would not have been possible.
I had thought that my Guru had abandoned me but He sent his best to protect my family and has sent a few more to help me conquer my demons and rise above the golden net of mundane and attain self realization.

Guru Grace
Guru Grace
Gurur Brahmaa Gurur Vishnuh
Gurur Devo Maheshvarah
Gurur Saakshaat Parabrahma
Tasmai Shree Gurave Namah.